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“Well if you need anything just let me know.” She walked back to the counter.Again my heart was racing, and again I felt the lack of courage and humiliation rising up in me. I was on the verge of chickening out again, but felt such a strong desire to buy a magazine of porn! And then suddenly, the counter became briefly empty of customers and I realized it was now or never if I was going to get that porn!My heart was racing so fast I thought I was going to have a heart attack! I walked up to the counter, it seemed like a mile away. I felt like everyone in the store was looking at me! At the counter, the woman came up to me again.“Can I help you young man?” She asked again.“Yes” I managed to croak out of my suddenly dry mouth, I felt like I was about to pass out. My face was hot feeling, my hear racing, I’m sure I was blushing.I looked at the magazines behind the counter, trying to determine which one would have the most slutty porn for me to feast my eyes on and masturbate my hard. Her real name was Janice and she was born and raised in a suburb of Chicago as the middle child of a church-going couple that secretly used spanking and submissive behavior to spice up their lackluster lives behind closed doors.I suspected that the innocent-looking Janice had been exposed to that lifestyle at an early age and she never looked back on a lifetime of proper behavior. Now, she was desperately returning to normalcy in an attempt to right her listing boat before she capsized and went all the way down to Davey Jones locker in shameful disgrace.I empathized with her need for normalcy and down deep in my soul I knew she was probably making the right decision even though it was depriving me of her comfortable companionship at a time when I was on a fast lane to depression revving my engines all the way. I did have a certain level of appreciation for the dazzling Janice to arouse my carnal instincts with her nicely trimmed twenty-something bush. She never failed to inspire me.
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